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Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can also be spread through the other forms of sex.“Virginity” is such a fraught and gendered term, involved through the centuries in policing the ownership of women’s bodies, or some harmful forms of purity culture, that it’s not really useful.And for some queer folks, the emphasis on heterosexual acts means that it’s not a good line, or norm, for ethics.Does that mean we all need the exact same type of pleasure? Some of us are beef eaters, some of us eat a bunch of tofu and beans.To experience the rush of endorphins in response to the same stimuli? We can satisfy our needs in lots of different ways – some of which are better choices morally than others (ie, if we care about the earth we should all eat a lot less meat) – but there’s not much point denying that we have some pretty universal human needs.I love Paul’s articulation of the knowledge that something is wrong, is sinful or harmful, and yet the feeling of temptation to do it anyway.That feeling of standing outside yourself, almost watching yourself choose poorly.





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