Advice for dating shy guys


If they have even the slightest doubt about your intentions they will hold back.So whatever you would normally do to indicate your interest to a confident man, double or triple it for a shy man (in proportion to his shyness): While I don't suggest that you overtly ask out a shy guy on an "official" date (this would too flagrantly undermine what he knows to be his role as described above), I do suggest that you suggest and then ask him to hang out under casual pretenses.In general, you will need to carry the relationship up until the point that it is "official." When it has been established (or is otherwise clear) that the two of you are together, then you should start reducing your initiative and letting him take the reins.As I said, he will probably start to do this on his own anyway, so rather than forcing it, just be cognizant of the transition.



The biggest problem is that it won't be clear to you whether or not his unresponsiveness is a product of his shyness or his lack of interest in you - because it could be either one. His persistent willingness to hang out with you might be stem from a real interest, but it also might be a manifestation of his unfulfilled desire for female attention; he could just enjoy dabbling in the idea of a relationship but at the same time not like you enough to want anything serious with you.Comments like "Oh, I thought you were going drive/get the tickets/plan the trip/[insert other traditionally masculine roles here]" can help in priming his confidence if it seems to be lagging and it bothers you.Dating a shy man takes a lot of initial investment for an uncertain outcome.Though he knows his own limitations (as prescribed by his shyness), he also knows what a typical man is "supposed to do." So he recognizes, too, when you are doing it for him.

This will offend him if you flaunt it, or if it is evident due simply to the social magnitude of the task you've assumed (for example, if you take his hand and lead him through a crowd).

I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men.